I'm sorry.

Do you know what it is like,
to lie in bed awake;
with thoughts to haunt you every night,
of all your past mistakes.

Knowing sleep will set it right-
if you were not to wake.


G.

We were so happy.

Last

I have been keeping it all inside me all these while. Flashbacks from 2009 never once stopped, it will pass through my mind every single day. Everyday I'm hoping one day it would end, and it's not exaggerating.

This feeling I'm feeling, I don't know what it is. But I'm certain it's not love anymore. It's the memories.
I'm too lucky to have someone now who loves me unconditionally, knowing that part of me is still living in the past, yet accepts me for who I am. Until yesterday, I cried so hard.

I asked him, why does he treats me so well and still sticks around with me even knowing everything from the start. Those things I've done sneakily behind him, he forgives.
His answer is just as simple as he loves me for who I am, and he is still waiting for the day that I will totally clear him off my mind. He fell for my smile, even if it's not genuine.

I love him too. I really do. No words could describe how grateful I am to have met him.
But then I ask myself, why am I still making myself feel so fuckin terrible for another person from the past?
I don't know. It's been over a year since we broke up. Maybe he brought me to too many places, and everywhere I go and everything I do it'll remind me of him.

But I believe one day, very soon, all these will be over.
Like he said, he believes one day I will be as happy as I used to be before I met him.

Because for someone who can't let go of the past, will never be happy.

I am trying hard, very hard.

By then, we would get married and live happily ever after :')

Thank you, my guardian angel, G.